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As an educator, back-to-school feels like my New Years—a fresh start, ripe with possibilities. As a mom, it feels exciting and exhausting in equal measure—such are the two sides of the change coin, especially with kids.
To compound matters, my oldest turns thirteen next week. And though it’s freaking cool to watch her metamorphose into her older self, my heart is strained by all of the letting go. I can’t say what mothering has felt like in other moments or contexts, but I feel stretched as I watch her navigate what feels like the dangerous distractions and very real stressors teenagers face today—almost like the big bad wolf is out there, and I just have to hope we used good bricks when we co-built the things that matter.
This cocktail of change has me a bit restless and searching for a focus for my teaching and parenting. And, after nearly thirteen years of parenting both my oldest and Tinkergarten, it comes down to one word: wonder.
We use the word wonder so often at Tinkergarten. With great joy and a sizable dose of pride, thousands of colleagues and I have referred to our role with kids as “facilitators of wonder.” But a word so rich with meaning deserves real thought. And, the more I dig in and study wonder, the more it reveals itself to be the key to kids' agency, discovery, connection and wellness. It’s a brick I pray all three of my kids have solidly in place as they grow.
What is Wonder?
I love words, and when you inquire about where “wonder” comes from, you quickly learn that it’s both universal and marvelously nuanced. Like the core emotions, humans across time and space experience wonder. And yet, there are many layers of meaning wrapped up in what wonder has meant to people in different cultures at different times.
One common concept, from the romantic poets to the scientists of today, is that wonder is linked to childhood—described as a childlike passion to know and explore—an innate drive that runs even deeper than curiosity. One that can trump hunger (and as all parents and early teachers know, can override the need to pee).
Wonder is as elegant as Lisa Sideris describes—the “means for revealing with stark clarity the story of the universe.” To little kids, it’s just how we do.
In Frank Kiel’s marvelous book, Wonder: Childhood and the Lifelong Love of Science, he describes wonder as “a drive to explore, discover and understand. It is a joyous, even euphoric, activity that increases feelings of agency and self-efficacy while at the same time instilling a sense of well-earned humility.”
Keil goes on to remind and warn us that young kids engage in wonder so naturally, but yet this capacity for wonder nearly always fades with age. The more kids lose it, the more they lose wonder as a source of joy, as a catalyst for learning and—it turns out—as a very important tool for survival.
Wonder not only fills us with the beauty of nature, music and art. But It also keeps us thinking critically and questioning—something our kids will need more than ever as tribal tendencies and new technologies influence the way we share, create and understand information.
The curiosity and openness of wonder also makes us more empathetic—that human superpower that has allowed us to survive and thrive throughout time.
Tapping Into the Wonder Cycle
How can we help kids strengthen their wonder muscles for the long haul? In short, practice! Wonder in action begets more wonder. As Rachel Carson makes clear in my all time fave, The Sense of Wonder, wonder is a joyous marveling at how new insight not only helps kids make more sense of the world, but it reveals an even wider set of discoveries to explore and find.
She also reminds us that we play an essential role in establishing wonder in kids’ lives:
Reflecting back on my time in schools, there were moments of wonder, but the system was increasingly optimized for the rather rapid acquisition of discrete skills and coverage of content, often at the expense of wonder. It's no surprise that wonder fades as a result. Parenting, especially while growing Tinkergarten, has brought a lot of wonder. Yet, as kids grow, life has gotten busy and we have to work at making space to wonder.
Perhaps my favorite book in recent months, Monica Parker’s The Power of Wonder, has given me much food for thought about this. I encourage you to read it. Listen to it. Get inspired. There are so many gems in the book, but her framework of a wonder cycle has helped me start to practice wonder-boosting in myself and others. I’m asking myself, how am I supporting each of these steps in the wonder cycle as I parent? As I teach? As I collaborate?
- Watch/Openness: Being present and open to new experiences and new ways of seeing things. Being ready to spot the novel and to see the day to day with fresh eyes.
- Wandering/Curiosity: Giving space, time and trust to allow for questions and for curiosity to flourish.
- Whittling/Absorption: Allowing ourselves to turn something over, to enter a state of absorption or flow as we go deep in pursuit of that which makes us curious.
- Wow + Whoa/Awe: To receive the surprise or cognitive dissonance and come out the other side forever changed and ever more hooked on wonder.
Breaking down this marvelous and nuanced process of wonder into steps can help spark ideas about ways to boost wonder with others in your life, especially with kids you love and teach. The bullets above cannot do justice to each step in the wonder cycle, and we look forward to sharing more about Monica’s work, the cycle and how we can apply it in an upcoming post (stay tuned!).
Nature is the Space to Wonder
Wonder requires us to slow down, to pay close attention and to notice—and there is no better place to unplug, center and use all of our senses and capacities to do just that than in nature. There is so much to wonder about, too: the patterns of each unique snowflake, the sweet sip of a honeysuckle, or the soft kiss of a breeze on the cheek. How does it feel to get really soaked with rain? Why does the pond make that sound when it’s frozen? What would happen if I try to stick this object into the mud? And, it is my sincere belief that, if we can make it a habit early, kids will keep heading out to wonder as they grow.
The living things, objects and forces in nature are always changing, inviting our curiosity and never disappointing, especially when we are young and prone to wonder. In nature, it’s easy to notice, experience curiosity, surprise, delight and more curiosity. We get the chance to question, to make sense of the world and to fall deeper in love with the whole darn process.
Wonder Works
If you're the kind of person who loves you some good data, the research supports wonder, too. For example, Greater Good in Education (UC Berkeley) shares three different studies that linked experiencing awe (the final stage of wonder) to improved academic outcomes, wellbeing and prosocial behavior. They go on to recommend multi-sensory learning experiences outdoors as an ideal way to increase kids’ disposition towards experiencing awe…hurrah!
Imagination and Wonder
Wonder can also engage children’s imaginations. A hidden grove becomes a castle, a stick a baton, the wind a character in their play. Magic lives quite close to the surface when we wonder, and especially when we do it in the natural world.
When imagination and wonder team up, learning becomes even more joyful. Kids also develop the cognitive flexibility that will allow them to be not only creative, but resilient. Best of all, they develop a sense that so much is possible—and I daresay—good in the world.
Yes, perhaps this is the most important part of all. Each moment of discovery and awe not only helps kids develop understanding, but it helps them regard the amazing in the world around us. How beautiful, intricate, coordinated and f-ing magical* our world truly is.
No matter how or why you think we all got here, ours is a mind-blowing home, and there is so much for which we can be grateful. With all of the truly heavy stuff we are facing, the more we can help kids detect the beauty, the joy and the goodness in the world and in one another, the better for us all!
More to Come
In the next four weeks, we’ll continue to share resources, book lists and new blog posts dedicated to wonder. If there’s something YOU are wondering or hope we hit in this “Back to Wonder” series, email us at support@tinkergarten.com to let us know!
* Special thanks to Monica Parker and her friend Franklin for this nearly perfect turn of phrase.
